i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
