I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
