Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
