Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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