only if we run a train.
done.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
