You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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