it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
