She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
