return my video game
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
