you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A bitchslap is in order.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
