guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
