Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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