My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
