If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
