My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
