You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
