Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
