Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
