Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
