i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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