Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
