I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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