You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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