She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
