I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
