We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
