yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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