Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
