Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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