Kiss
Puke
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
