Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
