yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
