How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
