We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
