Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
