Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
