If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
