we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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