i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
