Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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