i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
