i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
