I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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