What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
