for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
