hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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