Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
