ugly people sure do ruin things
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
