yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
