the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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