he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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